This is my life. and its perfection.

many, many people will write about this.

i am about to join them.

but unlike them,

i will write what i mean and think

in my own way

with only the truth.

the shooting occured in a town less than 1 hour away from my home.

in a college i was considering to go to in less than 4 years.

if that gunman had walked one more building over

i could be going to a funeral for my most loved cousin

and my heart would be broken in more

pieces than it is now.

when i heard

the first thought than ran through my head was

how long will it be before this happens at a high school?

how long until it happens in a middle school?

how long until it happens to me?

there are no words to describe this devastating happening.

but i will try.

who ever thought that DeKalb would be the name to be splashed across every headline in the country?

the spotlight has finally been shown on our little corner of the world.

but this is not a joyous scene.

this is the stage of tragedy.

and we have shone like the sun

reflecting that deep pool of blood

into the eyes of the people.

the greatest fault in our world

is that there is only one original.

everyone else is the copy.

the original does it for reasons always unknown

but the copy

does it for one reason and one reason alone.

to get the same reaction as the first.

and guess what.

we give it to them.

the scream for attention by that creature we call a representation of life

a human

has been responded to in the worst way.

we can not help our reaction.

in 5 years

we will be hearing of the day as a tragic moment in history.

nothing more.

of course those most directly affected

will remember the lost and mourn,

but there will be days and even weeks when it slips their minds.

not mine.

a piece of me died along with those 6 people that day.

my valentine was ripped in half by that gun.

not only the 5 innocent,

but also the 1 guilty.

they represented the whole of my heart.

the good part

and the bad.

but now both are gone.

but in this wheel of the world

everything

and everyone

are always replaced.

another tragedy will soon occur.

one to beat all others.

it happens

and is erased.

no one ever remembers 2nd place.

i will be here til death and beyond.

keep faith

<3 cally