This is my life. and its perfection.

there are many emotional times in my life. when they come, i simply get out my notebook and pen. this is my story.

2008/2/6

there has been a questioning....

@ 07:53 PM (6 months, 15 days ago)

....of who i am.

by myself and others.

that is going to change.

 

[notebook pages]

#1

all this time

i have been pushing past

who i want to be

and instead questioning

who i am.

i think i already know.

i am who my friends see

who they love

and i don't need to change.

it's just the thought of

not being good enough

not knowing everything

about myself,

and with that thought,

i've changed from what i used to be.

let's see if it is

for the better

 

#2

this feeling

comes in waves

of pure bliss and

then sudden

discord.

does everyone go through

this "questioning"?

 

#3

when a blank page is filled with black

and i let my thoughts

freely come back,

when i am peace

with my body

my soul

and my heart

then let me sing

and leave my mark

on your heart

without doubt

without fear

without hate

drawing near.

 

#4

I see

that girl

in the mirror

who i can be

a vision of confidence

 

then reality hits

and i'm left

staring at

the girl who just

wants to be.

 

#5

they think i do it

for attention.

yeah right.

 

i do it because

i want to look good in that dancing dress

sparkling in the spotlight.

i do it so i can have that feeling.

 

the questions still go unanswered.

<3 cally

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